Friendships are the basis of human interaction, and they enrich your life in so many ways. Positive friendships help relieve stress, build up your confidence, push you to explore the world and be the best version of yourself, and, most importantly, prevent loneliness.
In fact, studies show that close relationships are the key to happiness. Friends provide support in bad times, companionship in good times and helps build a sense of belonging and purpose. Turns out they actually make you physically healthier as well. In addition to these benefits, forming ties with people from diverse backgrounds provides highly enriched experiences that benefit everybody.
Getting to know people and embracing their cultures:
allows you to integrate different cultural aspects into your life;
opens you up to new ways of thinking and behaving;
partake in different activities, events and festivals;
builds a fresh new perspective on the world;
make you realize the mutual humanity shared by all; and
allows you to grow as a person.
How to make friends?
When you were a kid, you could just go up to anybody and proclaim yourselves best friends. Try that as an adult, and you may get slapped with a restraining order. So, how do you even make friends with somebody from a cultural background?
First, you must figure out how to make friends:
Find a group that interests you and join it, like a book club, dog walking club, sports league, hobby group, cooking class, etc.;
Look at your network and build from what you have, including coworkers, friends of friends, neighbours, social media contacts, old friends, etc.;
Push yourself out of your comfort zone and approach people in appropriate locations;
Make small talk with strangers and find common ground before delving into deeper subjects;
Be positive, but not desperate, and understand boundaries;
Say yes to all activities and events that you come across;
Volunteer;
Start a group of your own; and
Be patient. As with all relationships, friendships take time.
Now take those tips and simply apply them to people from other cultures.
Live in a relatively homogenized area?
Look online for potential friends, join and get involved in international organizations focused on global affairs, look into joining a club that caters to other cultures, partake in festivals from cultures other than your own, offer to teach ESL, and put yourself in situations where you will meet different people, explore the world around you, sign up for a penpal, etc.
When befriending people, be aware of your own culture, especially if yours is the dominant one. Your way of doing things, beliefs, and habits aren’t necessarily the best. It is important to remember that your sense of humour, values, views of society, and expectations have been shaped by your culture. And that is true for everyone.
You may encounter communication issues with new friends, especially if you bring up taboo subjects. These can be smoothed down by a little bit of research on your new friend’s culture and keeping an open mind. Ask questions if you are confused. Most people love talking about themselves and the things they care about.
Avoiding tokenization
And most importantly, do not tokenize your new friend.
What is tokenization? According to Merriam Webster, the definition is “the practice of doing something only to prevent criticism and give the appearance that people are being treated fairly.”
In this case, it would be making a friendship and treating the person as a trophy, somebody you bring out at events to prove how progressive and non-racist you are.
Don’t. Your new friend is a human being. Just because they are from a different culture doesn’t mean they should be treated differently.
So, once you’ve made a friendship with a person from a different culture, remember:
not to ask stupid or insulting questions;
don’t lead with stereotypes;
don’t expect them to carry the burden of educating you;
and always been genuine and sincere in your interactions.
As you seek to build friendships across cultural lines, it is best to understand some basic elements of their culture, explore the aspects of your own cultural background and strive to honour the values and beliefs you encounter. With that in mind, you can build a beautiful friendship that will bring both of you joy for years to come.
